Journal of Angelique Lizbet Diavolo

[Angelique]

Again tonight I've sat trying to figure out the scrolls, I've copied the sigils into my grimoire, their ability to keep the living from reading the tome is remarkable; the protection they offer is of great value. Perrin wasn't pleased that I had a way to keep things from him but I sated him I think. My teaching duties are finished until the summer, I am now free to dedicate myself to the items Xander sent me from the Necromancers complex.

I've so much to learn just to understand what it is he sent me. I am hoping there is someone in Istas who specializes in languages, this project will not be completed solo, I feel many specialties will need to collaborate to see it through. The Seti has been my focal point I hope to see him again soon to get direction on how to proceed. There has to be a connection between the Gargoyle statues and the journal on their physiology... what was this Mancer trying to accomplish.

On the side though after learning about the sigils from Lord Azrael I've been working on a system of my own based on the hidden ciphers I grew up with.



It may not make me a better Necromancer but at least few will be able to see how weak I am too...

Angelique Diavolo
December 14th, 2009

[Angelique]

*sitting on the floor of an empty Chateau writing by light of a single candle*

We've moved everything over, its overwhelming to think of all the space in this new building. I can hardly believe all that's happened over the past year or so, the changes keep coming and I keep trying to adapt... we keep trying to adapt. Perrin keeps reminding me with his songs that I am not alone. I can hear him upstairs singing for me to join him.

We might kiss when we are alone
When nobody's watching
We might take it home
We might make out when nobody's there
It's not that we're scared
It's just that it's delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known
And why'd ya sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

So why'd you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
And why'd you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

And why'd you fill my sorrows
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
Why'd you sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why'd you sing with me at all?

I remember when he first sang me this song, not long after I'd enrolled in the Lyceum and came home for winter break, I allowed myself to get distracted and left him out. How often over the years have I gotten lost in my own endeavors and failed to see the wonderful man right in front of me? Too often a song, or a look; the touch of his hand on my skin reminds me, of what really matters. Tonight as he sings out to me it crosses my mind to wonder why he sings for me at all... and in this moment I know I love him and feel him return that love with an overwhelming strength and conviction. Perrin loves me and that song will never end.

Angel...

[Angelique]

*sitting on her window seat watching the sleet outside the chateau, Angelique sips from a crystal glass as she writes in her journal as its perched on her knees*

I opened a simple package I found in my mailbox tonight and it astonishes me that I ever cross his mind. Lord Azrael remembered I collect them and sent me a Wisp Orb, which recently were found in their dungeon in Ilshenar. I had hoped to get away and find my own, but classes didn't allow for it. There is something singular about the shape of an orb or circle that fascinates me; almost as much as the intrigue I have for the Seti. Another puzzle to solve...

I've sat here in the window most the evening thinking about him, about my place in his scheme for this city. Just when I think I have it all figured out, the perspective changes and I have to start again. I wonder if any of us really know why we feel at home here. I know I love this building, the Chateau is the most comfortable place I've lived in since I was a child, in Nonno's compound. The peace of the ice and snow, the high cliffs of stone; the nightly patrols of frost wolves. Istas is a protective blanket for those who choose to live here. Like any lady however Istas has secrets, some deeply hidden. I look forward to the years ahead of me and the chance to learn what they are.

I felt a pang of distress early yesterday morning when Thyme asked for a week away to stay with her sister. I couldn't refuse but felt heartsick at not having Thyme here. I've touched on my existence gingerly with her, testing the water to see how she'd respond to what I really am, and what I want to offer her. I want her to be mine, forever to be with me to care for me and Perrin and our haven. I want to take her to places we both dream of, and share with her all the best this realm has to offer in the way of textiles and foods or drink. I sat in awe watching her weave metal wire into a net for my hair, her delicate hands working away like it was lace or silk threading. Her artistry far exceeds her usefulness as a caretaker. I treasure her and never want her to fall into anyone else's hands.

Soon I will take the first steps in making her mine.

Angelique Diavolo
April 26th, 2010

[Angelique]

How many times did I stand on a stool in Nonno's classroom and draw this figure for him... I must have sat through this lecture a dozen times before taking the class myself when I was a student at the Lyceum. I remember sitting on his lap and asking, "teach me how to open the portals Nonno". He always answered, "one day... first you must find the keys..."

For three generations Diavolo's have taught magick the same way, instructing our students by giving them the tools to find the keys and open the doors for themselves. A hundred explanations mean nothing until the student reaches out and touches magick for himself, only with experience can they make it their own. I have one hundred and eleven students this semester, all of them have acquired an understanding to allow them to continue in their studies, only three of them would I ever consider a mage...

I've always found this illustration suiting when considering the differences between students, some see it as a map to be memorized and regurgitated onto exams or into essays; others, a special few see it as a the sphere of influence for their art. The old lessons are coming back to haunt me as I too start down this new path of magick.

Two nights back I was an observer to the Seti's magick, it's unlike anything I've practiced before. It feels old, I am unsure why I can feel the difference in magickal practices, but it began with a sense that Nonna 's Stregheria was older than the Druidic practices or the magick of the Celts near Yew. The Seti's magick feels much older than even Nonna's. Two things stand out that I want to find out about, first his pentacle had six points instead of the five on mine; the significance of the six points intrigues me. Second what is Savara... I didn't understand the language he spoke when casting his circle but that one word stood out in my mind. What is Savara? I was more than a little intimidated, my own magick seems clumsy in comparison. Even his raiment was pristine and made me feel I was wearing rags, I should have wore my blue robe but I didn't want to personalize what I was there to do.

The Seti's generosity is at least comforting, I don't think he'd waste his time with me if I were beyond hope of learning. I've fought with Sol the past two mornings wanting to continue in the translations I began after we opened the Grimoire. I've never hated the forced sleep Sol brings so much as now... the work is slow going, but through visualization of the characters I can see how they've change over the years and its helped me step back and understand some of this ancient Elven. It will take more time than I'd like but once I've worked through the Grimoire I will feel confident with this text should I come across it again; goddess forbid I ever have to pronounce it.

Perrin will be home shortly, and Sol will force us to bed. I've locked up my work for the night and more than likely tomorrow's as well. I want time with Perrin and Thyme before I bury myself too deeply into the translations. They aren't going anywhere without me, and my family comes first.

Angelique Lizbet Diavolo
May 17th, 2010

======================
Source: Wiccan Mysteries - Ancient Origins & Teachings by Raven Grimassi; LLewellyn Publications, 1997

[Angelique]

*sitting at her desk in her study beneath Chateau Istas Angel, dressed in her ritual raiment sits at an antique roll-top bankers desk*

I had to wipe dust from the cover of my journal tonight, have I really been so preoccupied that I've neglected recording my own thoughts on the experiment I've been engaged with? I don't remember a time when I've been so engulfed in the enjoyment of a project, not since working with Father in the field...

I've notes a plenty with regard the ritual, I guess perhaps they've taken the place of my writings here. I haven't really stopped to think about what I am feeling or what I think about the project. I've been concentrating on preparations and understanding of what we are doing. My ancient Elven has improved a great deal with the Seti's key and my taking the time to translate the rituals grimoire myself. I don't know that its of much use in daily practice but I am pleased to have another tool to use in my search for magickal understanding.

I am also pleased in the contacts I've made in Istas. Director Rayne's introduction to the Gargoyle Avalon was a blessing. There are magickal summonings that work for Stone, she is proof of one such ritual. I spoke to her at length with the permission of her mistress Lady Izznet Hunar. Though made from stone she is alive, she eats and drinks and serves her ward. We touched on my findings and the use of Vitae, her own summoner has protected her from its need; Avalon likes apples... I miss apples. There was a time Gargoyle like her were summoned from a mountain to serve as guardians, and from what I read in the scrolls and grimoire, the ritual I am preparing is similar, to summon from stone a guardian for the summoner. Though I have no real need for a guardian, eternity I think would be better spent shared than alone.

Zarseph has the apparatus constructed, and I've collected most of the components, we are almost ready to begin. I need to consult with Lord Azrael about the matter of Vitae from Serpentis Rex, it makes me smile seeing it in writing, I've never considered Dragons as such but it is fitting. Soon I keep telling myself... soon we will begin and see the fruits of our efforts.

My family is growing and it makes me very happy.

Angelique Lizbet Diavolo
November 14th, 2010

[Angelique]

*laying on the floor before the hearth but far enough away to tolerate her instinctive fear of it, her silk robe pulled close to her and out of the reach of sparks; Angel writes in her journal*

I've been thinking about the Seti a lot lately, wondering what kind of man he really is, from the one he presents to others. When I look at him I see contained there a quality of stillness I can all but feel around him, easy to sense but difficult to define. His features, his bearing, everything about him blend into his background, swallowed by that stillness, patient and quiet as a stone beneath the moon. His eyes behind that reflective silver seem dark, inscrutable, intense...

Even though he intimidates me, I find myself admiring him, wanting to be like him, needing his approval. The Seti has only touched me once and the chill of it is still fresh in my mind, something I at once want to pull away from but then desire to be inflicted by it again.

It will be centuries before I know enough to ever be able to discuss ritual with him as an equal... how long will he tolerate me as a pupil? Even a stone can be eroded away by wind or water. What happens to the student when she's dismissed by her teacher? Why do I feel so inferior?

Angelique Diavolo
November 22nd, 2010

[Angelique]

With your memory always
Like a phantom that doesn't go away
I press your picture against my skin
A dream in my heart
Almost a love song...

I sat tonight reading your poems Jacques, did you know Anna kept them all? In her things I found a hat box full of little notes you wrote her. Did you know we would play a game of counting how many kisses you gave us? Anna and I kept tally on her slate in the kitchen, I think she used to add to mine... so often we came out with a tie. I miss your kisses Jacques... I miss you.


Angelique Lizbet Diavolo
January 2nd, 2011

In loving memory of Joseph Albert James Johnson February 4th, 1940 - December 30th, 1983

[Angelique]

*laying across her bed in the Chateau in Istas Angelique writes as she waits for Perrin to come home*

Thyme is asleep, her mind in a happy place, though she is nestled away a floor below me I can almost hear her breath, her little snore the only sound in the house. I feel her more strongly now, and she me when I allow it. I don't want to overwhelm her with my craziness too soon... The pieces fall into place if you let them; "don't make things more complex then they need to be Bella..." Jacques would tell me. Thyme fits in, Perrin adores her as much as I do, and though I can sense some jealousy from him on occasion, I have been able to quickly wipe it away by adoring him.

My classes go well, the difficulty the Archmagister predicted with the Council of Mages hasn't as yet come to fruition. I can hope it never will, but Militant groups never keep to themselves for long. Perhaps they have more to keep them occupied than any of us are aware. Magincia has been invaded yet again, demons... the Bane Chose and now blackrock Elementals. Will it ever cease? I long for a day I can fullfil Jacques wishes and rebuild the coffee house he used to frequent with other heads of our family. Bonito Pentangeles has also sworn to his Nonno to rebuild it when he is able, I met him in Vesper and we spoke of the legacy of our grandfathers. Bonito says there is one other still living of our gaggle of children, Albere Bepo has moved to Minoc, changed his name and is living outside magick circles. How the mighty houses have fallen...

Not mine! Mine grows, the Diavolo will live on forever. I am so close to starting the ritual I can hardly wait. Zarseph has powered up the device that will house the experiment, its ready for us to start. Lord Azrael visited me and Thyme over the Winter Solstice and sculpted the stone Thyme quarried out of the Istas Mountains for us to created Crios... I already think of him as my childer and he is only a statue adorning my craftroom. Crios'Lap, Gargish for Bloodstone; all that remains is for me to get the quantity of Tzimisce vitae... the last component needed for us to begin the ritual and awaken him from his sleep in the stone.

All our work and preparation will soon pay off!

Angelique Lizbet Diavolo
February 12th, 2011

[Angelique]

Entropy

A measure of randomness,
A parameter of disorder...
Energy broken down in irretrievable heat.
What might appear to be chaos...
Even decay...
Is really a system's way of smoothing out differences -- its search for equilibrium.
Uncorrelated parts interact...
Find their connections in an evolving system...
So, from one perspective, entropy is a clock...
Charting the irreversible.

There are many things I can't change, what I've become, things I've done; all the choices I've made since the night I died... Time has an elegant hand in unlife, it measures moment to moment, but no longer creates a boundary by which moments end. I no longer see a single path before me; I see all the forks that lead off the path and those that lead off them; and I am free to pick my course without fear of a fork becoming irretrievable, there seems to be an unending number of pathways back to any point in the web of pathways before me.

It is only what I do on these pathways that I can not change; and those are the decisions that will define who I am.

Angelique Lizbet Diavolo
June 15th, 2011