All Pales in the Face of Loss: Feb. 14th, 2008

[The Librarian]

Phaen sat at her desk entering purchase receipts into the ledger for the week, when the message arrived; trouble in Yew please come at once it read. Phaen arrived in Everthorne with due haste and was met by Kalayah, a man she had not met before was carrying Alexa in his arms… the girl limp as a rag doll was soaked in blood. The doors to the medical center were not open to them to take care of what Phaen now understood to be Alexa’s lifeless remains. Out of the shadows Kuile the Falcon stepped and with soft words told Phaen the Temple in Silverwood is always open to her. Alexa needed to be taken somewhere private where she could be cleaned up.

“James has a note”, Kalayah explained, it was found near her body. James passed the note to Phaen, which explained that in the time since Arwin’s death, Alexa had missed her daughter terribly. All the activity she found to occupy her time didn’t lessen the loss the young woman felt. Alexa wished to be at her daughter’s side once more and had taken her life. Others, Glorfindel Archon of Everthorne and his betrothed Lady Ismene D’Arville, Alexandar of Avernus, and Maceo joined the small group; and Phaen learned that the man carrying Alexa was Frey Wolfwood. Disbelief and shock were expressed as each person learned the tragic events that lead to Alexa’s death. With no facilities in Everthorne, James opened a moongate and the small group stepped through to Silverwood, the hopsital in the Temple of Corellon was open to them.

Perhaps the stress of the situation, Alexandar rattled on about Alexa’s state and what possibly should be done as Alexa was carried to the hospital. Once laid out on a cot, Frey requested clean water and cloths to begin cleaning away the blood and preparing Alexa for burial. Phaen brought a basin of clean fresh water and cotton cloths to begin the needed work. As Frey and Phaen cleaned away the blood, Beleg Megil, who stared wide-eyed at the young girl whom he had known a long time, joined them, asked, “nothing can be done”? Phaen replied she had already passed when she was found. Beleg continued, “if resurrection were possible, James would have already brought his sister back”. Phaen nodded gently still cleaning the blood from Alexa’s body. “I don’t think she wants to come back, she left a note saying why she has done this to herself”. Phaen passed the note to Beleg as she went to the washbasin to collect more clean water. As more people filed into the room, most crying and unable to speak; moving around the body became difficult and Frey finally exclaimed, “Ok, James and Phaen was it? You can stay everyone else please wait downstairs!” Slowly everyone filed from the room, leaving Alex to be shooed out last as his curiosity kept him watching on. Phaen moved to him and sternly asked him to leave, telling him she would be down shortly to let everyone know what had happed as she understood it.

James stood watching vigilantly his eyes black as pitch as he gazed upon the body of the woman he claimed as his sister. Biting back tears Phaen helped Frey clean her up. When the work was almost complete Phaen left Frey to finish and joined the others downstairs in the temple proper, a new dress was needed and an explanation to those who had not yet heard. Ismene, Lord Azrael, and Kalayah who had remained met Phaen in the temple. Wiping her eyes, Phaen asked Kalayah to fetch a fresh dress, one in soft blue if possible, while Ismene covering her eyes was distraught over the events. As Azrael glanced to Phaen, she met his gaze and fresh tears welled in her eyes. At first all Azrael managed was, “I…” With great effort Azrael tried to take another step into the temple; Beleg looking lost and red eyed for a moment looked up and with tiredness in his voice asked that Eru grant him passage. As if a weight had been lifted Azrael entered the temple and slipped past Phaen. Phaen let those gathered again know what Alexa had left in her note; and returned to Alexa’s body with Azrael, Kalayah returned after a few moments with a soft blue dress, one that would highlight the young woman’s deep blue tresses.

Phaen kneeled at the end of the bed returning to the work she began with Frey earlier. As they worked Azrael looked to the bed, his eyes misting a soft crimson reflected brightly over the silver. Softly Azrael agreed with James that Alexa’s ring should remain on her body as mention of removing it so it would not be lost came up. Frey noted a need to clean under the bloodstained dress and asked James gently for permission to remove the dress. Phaen asked that the men please step around the screens then carefully Frey and Phaen worked together to hold Alexa gently and remover the dress. Phaen put the dress aside and the two of them finished the work of cleaning the woman of the blood which had dried and caked to her body. Kalayah handed the new dress to Phaen and delicately she worked with Frey to put the new dress on Alexa’s body. A scarf in the same pale blue was tied gently around the young woman’s neck to hide the wound she inflicted upon herself.

Once complete Frey stood and moved to James asking him to pray over her. Softly James said, “goddess watch over her as she leaves this world to join those she loves that have passed before her. Go forth into the beyond, though I am not sure where exactly that will be. I am sure that you will be with Arwin again. May the goddess watch over your soul Amin”. With the closure of James’ prayer, a breeze surrounded all in the room, and a soft voice filled the room, “ Brother, please do not grieve I will see you again someday… as I will see all of you. Arwin and I will watch over you and know that we will be smiling. I love you brother”, was the last heard before the voice faded. Azrael spoke next looking to Phaen, “ I am… certain of where she would wish to be laid to rest…” Frey said we should go and tell the others and let her soul rest. Azrael looked to Phaen patiently, reaching up he carefully wiped a tear from her eyes with his thumb, “Good”, he said looking to those gathered, “and Evil… all seems to pale in the face of loss…” Quietly Phaen asked of him, “Will you show me the place where she should rest”? Azrael nodded slightly, “I can show you…” Turning to James Phaen let him know she was at his disposal, anything needed she would do. Kissing the pooka’s cheek Phaen looked to Azrael with dark somber eyes flecked with gold, and they left the room. On the steps of the temple Phaen took Azrael’s arm as he took hers and they began the walk to where Alexa would be laid to rest.

Together Azrael and Phaen headed south, a long walk from Silverwood, through Everthorne, past the Travel Lodge, to one of the larger yew trees in the region. They stopped before the tree and Azrael looked at its foot to the tiny headstone there. Around the headstone lay hundreds of lilies some of which had taken root to spread out from the tree. As Phaen leaned against his shoulder Azrael said softly, “I… never imagined they would… take root…” “The child… her adopted daughter…” Phaen asked, “Arwin?” to which Azrael nodded once. Phaen spoke quietly, “Life has a tendency to keep going”. “Indeed… it does… and all things in time, seem to repeat…” Azrael followed. “I did not know two years ago… that Alexa would be showing me her own grave… but I suppose, each time I visited… I knew…” Phaen said softly, “I knew she was troubled. I was gong to ask her to come work with us, see if somehow we could help fill her loss, I never got the chance.” He nodded saying, “She believed at times, that she was missing something deep within her… I believe that is why we found friendship. She has been courting death ever since burying a part of herself here. Studying the headstone Azrael added, “Perhaps… she will find Arwin… in the Shadowlands. After looking down a moment Azrael looked to Phaen, softly speaking he said, “I have a request… Alexa has a pair of earrings… transparent hearts… they belonged to Arwin… a gift from a vampire… on her birthday… Alexa wished to give them back after Arwin’s death but I insisted… they belonged now to her…” Phaen replied, “they will look lovely with the blue dress.” Nodding slightly Azrael said, “I believe so…” as his eyes misted crimson again. Studying the stone Azrael whispered, “There is most definitely… something about blue…” Phaen buried her face into his shoulder sobbing softly. Azrael wrapped his arms around Phaen and held her quietly a long moment before the two of them said their good byes and headed their separate ways.

[The Librarian]

Phaen returned to the Winters Rose, tripping on the way up the stairs as the pain building at the nape of her neck started spreading across her skull. I made it home, she thought as the door to the Rose closed behind her. Phaen walked slowly to the kitchen holding the wall for support, some white willow bark tea for her headache, and some mint to settle her stomach. Once the tea was steeped Phaen looked across the great hall and sighed, twenty paces to the door to her private floor, twelve steps and then another six paces to her sitting room. Phaen made it to the hearth setting her tea on the mantle before dropping to her knees in pain. I have to be strong, Phaen thought, they can't see the reaction we have to Azrael or his kind... our weakness should not be made public display. Phaen rest her forehead on the warm stone of the hearth, it will pass, she thought willing the pain away, and trying to pull herself together to stand again and drink the tea. It always helped the hypnotic crackle of the fire and the tea...

Phaen awoke several hours later, just past mid day from the light coming in the windows. She was lying next to the hearth, never having managed to get up off the floor where she fell asleep teacup still in her hand. It was going to be a rough day she knew; Phaen had many people to contact and arrangements for the temple, and graveside needed to be purchased and set up. Like a dark laugh in the back of her mind the pain from the night before clung to the nape of her neck. Phaen headed first to Luna to tithe at the Ankh then after making several purchases made her way to Everthorne. Frey Wolfwood was at the Garden Lounge, Matsuo Yashida was directing him to the Temple where the memorial would take place. “Miss Phaen”, he said as Phaen nodded to him, “good afternoon Frey”, she answered softly. Frey bowed his head and asked how she was, “it was a long night”, Phaen replied. Frey nodding lowly mentioned that he couldn’t sleep himself. Phaen told Frey she was going to see how the temple would look and that she was going to walk to the gravesite after, “May I join you”? Frey asked. Phaen nodded and smiled weakly, “I would like that”, she said to him.

Arriving at the Temple, once inside Frey trembled a bit, Phaen rested her hand on his arm and asked if he was close to Alexa. Frey explained that death, any death was sad and Phaen could tell he felt it deeply. “Alexa was always a bright face and a helping hand, I wish I understood sooner the heaviness of her heart” Phaen told Frey as they look about the lovely arrangement Augren provided in the Temple. Frey frowned and said softly, “when I met her she said she was lonely”. Phaen let Frey know she had received many messages and that Alexa had touched a lot of lives. “There have been several private requests for things she is to be buried with, one of which I have with me now”. Phaen explained that she found a small pair of transparent hearts in the pocket of the dress Alexa had worn the night before. They were once a gift to her daughter, and the person who bequeathed the gift wished for Alexa to take them with her. Smiling softly at the beautiful arrangement of the temple after slipping the earrings in with Alexa, Phaen turned to Frey and asked if he would be pallbearer for the journey to the graveside. Phaen explained that those attending would carry candles to light their path from the temple to the graveside. When Frey agreed Phaen asked if he would like to walk with her to the graveside, with a smile he joined her for the short walk south.

The walk to the gravesite took about fifteen minutes, a pleasant journey under sunny skies if only the pain in Phaen’s head would allow her to enjoy it. Phaen crouched down and brushed away leaves that had blown against Arwin’s headstone since the night before. “Alexa’s daughter is buried here”, Phaen explained to Frey who knelt down bowing his head and quietly said something in a language Phaen didn’t understand. We will carry Alexa here and lay her to rest beside her daughter. Frey raises his head and looking to Phaen said, “In my house we don’t bury the dead”, Phaen stood next to him and asked, “what is your tradition”? Frey Wolfwood explained that after a person dies two coins are placed over their eyes to pay the toll to enter the gates to the Holy Land. Then the body is burned with blue fire, and the ashes scattered in a place the deceased found peace. Phaen smiles and explained she came from a family of fishermen, it was their tradition that the dead have two coins placed in their hands to pay the ferryman to sail the across the river into the shadowlands, where they would be taken to their next transition of existence. The bodies of the dead where wrapped in linen and set afloat at sea where they were set ablaze. Frey nodded gently, “it seems we both have a tie to how we deal with the dead”. Phaen smiles softly to him and explained Alexa had left no written instructions so she was following the example Alexa set with her daughter Arwin.

Frey smiled and said that two coins should be left with her just in case, Phaen took a copper shilling from a pouch at her belt, Frey drew one from his pocket and handed it to Phaen gently. “We will put these with her, just in case”, Phaen nodded as she finished the statement. I have asked Beleg Megil to use his magic, he will enchant Alexa’s body and leave it uncorruptable. Phaen added soberly, “I hope she has found peace”. “As bad as it sounds I believe she is in a better place”, Frey added. Phaen drew a deep breath trying to clear her head, then smiling to Frey she nodded to the north, “I think we have everything ready, lets go back to the Garden and see if anyone has arrived who needs to be directed to the Temple. In silence Frey Wolfwood and Phaen Grey walked back to Everthorne to await the service to remember Alexa.